| Professor
Johnson - CS 497 Object Oriented Programming and Design |
| "My
Porsche cannot hold groceries very well and cannot pull my boat!"
(Johnson, 9-5-02). |
| "Squeak
only cares about cool"
(Johnson, 9-3-02). |
|
Akash Bandyopadhyay - FIN 362 Options and Futures Markets |
| "If you drop
out then you are a loser"
(Bandyopadhyay, 8-28-02). |
| "If you have
desire for money and power then known this stuff" (Bandyopadhyay, 8-28-02). |
| "Traders can
lose money, but he will not tell you that because he will hide his
losses" (Bandyopadhyay, 8-28-02). |
| "Don't think
this class is very easy. One day you will cry. No I
shouldn't say that. This class is very easy" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-4-02). |
| "Traders are
garbage" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-4-02). |
| "Teaching
counts zero in academia" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-9-02). |
| "With an
arbitrage portfolio you can drink as many bottles of beers as you
want!" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-9-02). |
| "Traders are
the stupidest people in the world. They make mistakes all the
time. They do not think things through scientifically" (Bandyopadhyay,
9-9-02). |
| "Being a
professor is a good life! It's like making money by doing
nothing!" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-11-02) |
| "If you go work
for Goldman Sachs, you can work very hard, like 9 hours a day, get
shit on by your seniors and after 9 months, let you go" (Bandyopadhyay,
9-11-02). |
| "The market
looks for finance professors, and they make very high salaries.
Even in state schools, like U of I, where salaries are 3,400 grand.
If you go to a school like MIT, starting salaries are like half a
million dollars" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-11-02). |
| "If you go
work for industry, graduate schools do not want to accept you because
your brains has already been washed" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-11-02). |
| "Nowadays
all the smart guys go to Wall Street" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-16-02). |
| "When I
was working at Goldman Sachs, I told my boss he was stupid on the
second day of the job" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-16-02). |
| "With a
Ph.D. you start at a senior level as a vice president and you don't
have to do anything. If the analysts and associates can't do
your work, you fire them! Salaries are very high, about
$500,000...if you find a job" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-25-02). |
| "The
definitions of Wall Street is asshole. They don't care for other
people, but only themselves. They care only for money and power"
(Bandyopadhyay, 9-25-02). |
| "You will
see what they teach at the elite schools, not here. If you go to
electrical engineering or physics then we are elite. You go take
ECE 111 and you will cry" (Bandyopadhyay, 9-30-02). |
| "All these
girls in the Finance Club, to tell you the truth, are not very smart.
They tried to negotiate with me, telling me why they should get a
better grade because they hold high positions in that crap. Of
course they were not successful in negotiating anything, so they are
angry with me" (Bandyopadhyay, 10-2-02). |
| "You
cannot survive in Wall Street if you are not 100% asshole. It's
a necessary and sufficient condition" (Bandyopadhyay, 10-2-02). |
| "I know
all of you smoke pot, but that's okay" (Bandyopadhyay, 10-7-02). |
| "You won't
believe the kind of stories I have heard, especially the guys from
frat houses" (Bandyopadhyay, 10-14-02). |
| "You can
bring anything you like. You could bring the entire commerce
library, I won't care" (Bandyopadhyay regarding midterm, 10-14-02). |
| "If you
want, I would fire him, but I probably won't get a better grader" (Bandyopadhyayabout TA, 10-14-02). |
| "If you
got a 9, but the grader gave you 90, then you don't have to e-mail me.
It is an arbitrage opportunity" (Bandyopadhyay, 10-16-02). |
| "Solan MIT
is awesome. Solan Stanford isn't as good. Stanford is a
party college" (Bandyopadhyay, 10-16-02). |
| "You guys
probably all want to be a trader. And that probably suits you
well because you are here at U of I and you do not like to do
homework" (Bandyopadhyay, 10-30-02). |
| "Behind
every evil thing is a girl" (Bandyopadhyay, 10-30-02). |
| "If I do
indeed become sick, then I will not grade last week's homework, so you
will all get 99. So y ou should pray to God that I become sick"
(Bandyopadhyay, 11-7-02). |
| "The night went
painfully slowly – he had a paper and a project due the following day,
and then he had an entire day of classes to sit through." (Grace's
Mark, 10-12-05) |
| "Do you
guys know how Warren Buffet makes money? He buys under-valued
and over-valued stock. Then he waits until equilibrium and sells
it. This is witchcraft and he is a good witch. You have to
read Harry Potter's book to find out. I cannot teach you these
things" (Bandyopadhyay, 11-7-02). |
| "Yes,
drugs is a big return market. All of you know that right?
You guys all smoke weed, right?" (Bandyopadhyay, 12-4-02). |
| "That professor
was fired. I was very happy about that. I like firing
people! I was an investment banker, they are very happy to fire
people. That is investment banking. I should say, that is
the capitalist world" (Bandyopadhyay, 12-11-02). |
| "Don't go
to a doctoral program like here. If you go to someplace like
here, you will end up cutting grass" (Bandyopadhyay, 12-11-02). |