Back to Homepage | Back to Jokes Page

Professor Quotes: Spring 2001

M. Witte
C. Riesbeck
T. Warren
Professor Witte - ECON C70 Environmental and Natural Resource Economics
"What happens when there's CO2? Yes, it gets hot. Like this freakin' room." (Witte, 3-26-01)
"God will be like: Look, here's the crystal dial, and you just go joo! Joo!" (Witte, 3-26-01)
"Maybe regulating what dogs eat because if gets in their poop" (Witte, 3-26-01)
"I'm gonna stop now because I'm suffering from global warming" (Witte, 3-26-01)
"But ah, they're English, they don't know anything" (Witte, 3-28-01)
"This is wiffing off a fat pitch" (Witte on lost opportunity, 3-28-01)
"Whoever picked the 3rd project is a freakin' idiot." (Witte, 4-2-01)
"Global warming is not a problem, screw that!" (Witte, 4-4-01)
"Like Disney, they're down to like, 5 dwarfs. Good investments? Like Cisco? <class laughs> Oh, you invested in Cisco? I'm bringing back old moons." (Witte, 4-4-01)
"As a result there are too many cows. We can't count on FIJI to mysteriously get rid of them at night" (Witte, 4-4-01)
"I tell Medill students, don't go into broadcast! You'll just be a moron reading a script. Let the good-looking morons do that!" (Witte, 4-4-01)
"What kind of people wouldn't mind living next to O'hare? Yes, deaf people!" (Witte, 4-11-01)
"If I pass up my right to kill someone when they break into my house, I can sell my right to kill someone to a mob?" (Witte, 4-16-01)
"Eminent - Sounds like a homophobic rock group or something." (Witte, 4-16-01)
"Are you a mayor of some metropolitan area? Or do you have something else in common with her? (Maryann Barry)" (Witte when cell phone goes off, 4-30-01)
"E equals MC. Yeah we'll keep it at low powers to keep it easy to understand." (Witte, 4-30-01)
"If in the future, we're the same dumbasses as we are today" (Witte, 4-30-01)
"Fighting Drunkards vs. the Northwestern Fighting Nerds" (Witte, 4-30-01)
"The answer is six followed by the mark of the beast" (Witte, 5-9-01)
"What did you say? People are retarded? No it's motors that are retarded!" (Witte, 5-9-01)
"I hate that notion of zero emission cars. What they mean is electric cars. They mean no pollution coming from your car. But then where does the electricity come from? Flying kites?" (Witte, 5-9-01)
"I thought I made a lot until I saw what Eric Schultz was getting and I got pissed. That bastard!" (Witte, 5-16-01)
"It's very tough on frogs nowadays. <bird chrps> I'll get to you birds. Box-turtles are on the decrease too. You know, they're really slow, so you just pick them up and have them as pets." (Witte, 5-23-01)
"We can kill the litterers, take sorta the Singapore approach." (Witte, 5-23-01)
Professor Riesbeck - CS C95 XML and Software Components
"Stuff" (Riesbeck, everyday)
"'Kay" (Riesbeck, everyday)
"You can use TransformerFactory, not the kind that folds like this and stuff." (Riesbeck imitating a transformer, 5-7-01)
"Real programmers never comment their code. If it's hard to write, it should be hard to read." (Quote from C95 presentation, 6-4-01)
"Real programmers never work from 9 to 5. If any programmer is up at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night." (Quote from C95 presentation, 6-4-01)
Todd Warren - CS C94 Software Project Management
"Or [Windows] ME, if anyone is unfortunate enough to have Windows ME." (Warren, 5-1-01)
"Warren: It's Markup actualy (in UML). Marko: I'll just shut up! Warren: You want to do the lecture? You'll have your chance in 10 minutes [class goes oooo!]. Student: You're gonna take that? Warren: Now I'm turning red!"
"Yeah sure in the real world you could steal from lotsa things, but then comes lawsuites." (Warren, 5-10-01)
"This is sorta like a Devry Institute presentation of MS Project." (Warren, 5-17-01)
"Todd did this for love and we should...[Todd walks in] We should just say "F**K Microsoft!" (Birnbaum, 5-31-01)
"They will chain me to my desk. That's what they do at Microsoft - chain you to your desk." (Todd, 5-31-01)
Professor Hudson - North American Geography
"I bet after the exam some of you need to go to the bathroom. I say that because someone last year told the dean. I do not condone it. So if I catch you, I'll kick your ass out of here!" (Hudson, 3-29-01)
"Six years of college down the drain." (Hudson when frat boy tries to sell peanuts in Fisk Auditorium, 3-29-01)

Questions, Comments, Suggestions? Email or ICQ UIN# 3381854
Last Updated: