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Professor Quotes: Spring 2002

G. Agha
M .Beckman
N. Vaidya
Professor Agha - CS 321 Programming Languages and Compilers
"It turned out the guy was a football player.  You know, Michigan football players, I don't know what their average IQ is, but..." (Agha, 1-14-02).
"It's okay to think big, but don't mess up while trying to think big" (Agha, 1-14-02).
"But computer scientists do not shoot each other, they just write nasty papers about each other" (Agha, 1-14-02).
"If you don't know sh, you ought to learn it, or else Bill Gates will be corrupting your brain" (Agha, 1-14-02).
"If there is intelligent life, they would be sending signals, like EM waves, otherwise they are not intelligent" (Agha, 1-14-02).
"By the way, this lecture is very light, it's to fool you into thinking the course is very easy.  It's for inspiration, perspiration comes later" (Agha, 1-14-02).
"Be naive and be unrealistic, then you will get somewhere" (Agha, 1-18-02).
"If I gave a bad lecture, I'm trying to inspire you" (Agha, 1-18-02).
"You guys should read Computer Survey because I am the editor-in-chief" (Agha, 2-13-02)
"The difference between procedural and functional programming is the difference between church and state.  You want to keep the church away from the state" (Agha, 2-25-02).
"Assembly language isn't brain damage, it causes brain damage to humans" (Agha, 4-10-02)
"This lecture won a Turing Award; it was a good lecture, it mentions me, so...  Most guys [authors] are older, but I'm still productive" (Agha, 4-19-02)
Mattox Beckman - CS 321 Programming Languages and Compilers
"If I press backspace in vi, bad things can happen, so that's why I use emacs" (Mattox, 1-25-02).
"That's what LL means, no one is going to ask you that, unless yo play trivial pursuit, geeky CS version" (Mattox, 2-1-02).
"Is everyone "following me"?  I like bad puns <snickers from the students>" (Mattox talking about FOLLOW(E), 2-6-02).
"Now when you play Trivial Pursuit, CS, genius edition, you'll get this question right!" (Mattox, 3-6-02).
"I like the anonymous function syntax.  It's more pure" (Mattox, 3-6-02).
"You tell your slave, or your student - almost as smart as you are, to prove P(n-1)" (Mattox, 3-11-02).
"That's why this song is so annoying.  By the time you get to 7 or 8, you're not even half done yet" (Mattox on the 12 days of Christmas, 3-11-02).
"So you actually have 3 weeks, because giving people work over break is evil <everyone claps>" (Mattox, 3-13-02).
"This is where people's hands start to blow up" (Mattox on recursive procedures with no base case, 4-3-02).
"So Professor Agha talked about unification.  <class is silent>  Deer staring into headlights, all of you!!" (Mattox, 4-22-02).
"Of course it would be weird if Jane was a could say Prolog is either very stupid or very progressive" (Mattox, 4-22-02).
"There it works...Prolog is stupid, it'll believe anything" (Mattox, 4-26-02).
Professor Vaidya - ECE 497 Wireless Networks
"I'm very flexible when it comes to deadlines.  Unless it's the end of the semester, then I'm not flexible.  But one day here, one day there, I don't mind" (Vaidya, 2-7-02).

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