Professor
Chang - CS 411 Advanced Databases |
"Yes, this is
Codd. Why? Because he is a theoretician, so he wears a
suit" (Chang, 1-21-03) |
"Gary,
why? BEcause he looks like a worker. He is an engineer.
He is still an engineer"
(Chang, 1-21-03). |
Akash Bandyopadhyay - FIN 362 Options and Futures Markets |
"I'm
usually more organized than this. But my expectation was that
this class is just chairs"
(Bandyopadhyay, 1-22-03). |
"You don't
know how hard it is to teach undergraduate American teenagers" (Bandyopadhyay,
1-22-03). |
"Before
this class, I have to take some capital punishment [FIN362] (Bandyopadhyay,
1-22-03). |
"The fact
is, I speak wrong English fluently" (Bandyopadhyay, 1-22-03. |
"I call
inks on the spider's web" (Bandyopadhyay, 1-22-03). |
"For those
of you going to Wall Street, expect to die by 45 years" (Bandyopadhyay,
1-22-03). |
"Arrogance
is the key to success in Wall Street" (Bandyopadhyay, 1-22-03). |
"Finance
books are really bad. Smart people in finance go to Wall Street
to make multi-million dollars. The other people write the
garbages like John Hull's book" (Bandyopadhyay,
1-27-03). |
"If at the
end of the semester you get a job at Goldman Sachs, I invite you to
come up to the front of class and laugh all you want!" (Bandyopadhyay,
1-27-03) |
"It doesn't
matter that they [the homework problems] are applicable. It
matters that they are interesting" (Bandyopadhyay,
1-29-03). |
"No
morality, no ethics, no charity. We are Wall Street" (Bandyopadhyay,
1-29-03). |
"All you
foreigners: Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean, need to learn these things
that Americans do not know to get a passport. Since Americans
are minorities in this class, we could say whatever we want" (Bandyopadhyay,
1-30-03). |
"The only
good guys in this department are Neil Pearson, Penecke; everyone else
<shakes head>. I wash my hands after seeing them" (Bandyopadhyay,
2-3-03). |
"If this
kind of arbitrage exists in the economy, my 362 students would be very
happy, because they don't have to work anymore. They can spend
the rest of their lives in Joe's or KAMS" (Bandyopadhyay, 2-3-03). |
"I hate
administrators because you know, their job is to make trouble" (Bandyopadhyay,
2-5-03). |
"I used to
be very poor, because I used to be a graduate student and ate out
everyday because I had an American girlfriend"
(Bandyopadhyay, 2-12-03). |
"If someone can
work out all the problems in Duffe's book, then he is not a financial
economist" (Bandyopadhyay, 2-19-03). |
"If an
investor knows you can solve all the problems in Duffe's book, he will
keep his money in his pocket and say, 'fuck you!'" (Bandyopadhyay,
2-19-03). |
"There are
no open-book exams where I came from. Things are easy here.
That's why you get the American undergraduates. You do not know
because you do not see them. Well you don't want to see them" (Bandyopadhyay,
2-19-03). |
"II try
not to look at my undergraduate students. If I do, their faces
look like I am trying to kill them" (Bandyopadhyay, 2-24-03). |
"If the
multi-billion dollar investment banks find out you have a thought
process, they will treat you like a black-box. They will plug
you in, crank you, and money will be printed on the other side" (Bandyopadhyay,
3-12-03). |
"The
department says our Masters students are bad. But I disagree
with that. Professors are bad, not students" (Bandyopadhyay
3-19-03). |
"If you
want, I would fire him, but I probably won't get a better grader" (Bandyopadhyayabout TA, 10-14-02). |
"Fisher
Black's wife really liked a lot of money. That's a common thing
among American girls, well, maybe all girls" (Bandyopadhyay,
4-2-03). |
"Goldman
Sachs is responsible about Fisher Black's death. They drove him
too hard, so he died. They're responsible, because he died" (Bandyopadhyay,
4-2-03). |
"The fact
is, this managing director highly respects me; for whatever reason I
do not know" (Bandyopadhyay, 4-9-03). |
"Color
transparencies were $1 each, so when I went to the Finance department
for a reimbursement, their answer was 'Fuck off!'" (Bandyopadhyay,
4-16-03). |
"This is a
confidential document. You do not show your credit cards around.
Well if you do, show it to me first!"
(Bandyopadhyay, 4-28-03). |
Professor
Hajek - ECE 434 Random Processes |
"...So the
best estimator for Y...and the error are orthogonal and uncorrelated.
Let's have a moment of silence in honor of that result <we all stare
at the board for 1 minute>" (Hajek, 2-28-03)). |
"It's
better to learn how to derive the formula. If I had to memorize
this huge formula, there wouldn't be much left for my phone number" (Hajek,
4-14-03). |
Yurcik - CS 397KER Information Assurance |
"Easiest
penetration. Hmm...I don't hear any snickers, so no one's head
is in the gutter" (Yurcik, 1-29-03). |
"You guys
know this stuff. You guys are all hackers, I know that" (Yurcik,
1-29-03) |